Dating is good. Its feels awesome, getting to know someone you never knew – it is just worth doing. However, the idea of dating conjures in the mind of many a romantic notion of people holding hands and playing “Love”. To others, it is a time to test how compatible they are in bed or just for fun! Oops!
One day, my girlfriend’s roommate in school, asked her: “Have you done it with him? If ‘no’, how then can you tell if he is a ‘real’ man? For me, i can’t take such risk.” When she told me, at first it was funny but then, it is ridiculous. Ladies could be something....
However, the fact is this, whenever an unwed couple...ok maybe two young lovers have sex, it erodes the strength of the relationship and undermines an essential element that contributes to the success of the relationship which is ‘TRUST’.
One day, i met with a friend on a normal guy-to-guy sitting out; he brought up the issue of his girlfriend while talking about trust. He said they are just there for fun – no trust, no future, nothing! Owing to that, he said: “if she did it with me, she can as well do it with another person.”
Please, please, please...do not allow your romantic notions to becloud your vision in your relationship. It is not meant just for fun! Being in a relationship includes sharing goals or helping each other achieve their goals. Helping each other identify the perfect outlook of life, being there when the other needs a shoulder to lean on – when the other needs someone to talk to or share his/her problems with and many more.
Not allowing romantic notions becloud your vision will help you know the following: What are the person’s goals? Are they compatible with yours? How can you assist? What is the person’s general outlook of life? Is he/she optimistic or pessimistic? and many more.
Now, for relationships that could or would likely lead to marriage, you could be able to answer these questions: What is the person’s view of an ideal family? Do they agree with yours? What about morals? Is the person truthful and trustworthy? What do you know about the person’s family? Does any genetic (i.e hereditary) disease run in the family? and more.
To be candid, getting answers to these questions takes time but its worth it, as you are by then, laying a solid foundation for your relationship to avoid falling into its pit-hole.
One day, my girlfriend’s roommate in school, asked her: “Have you done it with him? If ‘no’, how then can you tell if he is a ‘real’ man? For me, i can’t take such risk.” When she told me, at first it was funny but then, it is ridiculous. Ladies could be something....
However, the fact is this, whenever an unwed couple...ok maybe two young lovers have sex, it erodes the strength of the relationship and undermines an essential element that contributes to the success of the relationship which is ‘TRUST’.
One day, i met with a friend on a normal guy-to-guy sitting out; he brought up the issue of his girlfriend while talking about trust. He said they are just there for fun – no trust, no future, nothing! Owing to that, he said: “if she did it with me, she can as well do it with another person.”
Please, please, please...do not allow your romantic notions to becloud your vision in your relationship. It is not meant just for fun! Being in a relationship includes sharing goals or helping each other achieve their goals. Helping each other identify the perfect outlook of life, being there when the other needs a shoulder to lean on – when the other needs someone to talk to or share his/her problems with and many more.
Not allowing romantic notions becloud your vision will help you know the following: What are the person’s goals? Are they compatible with yours? How can you assist? What is the person’s general outlook of life? Is he/she optimistic or pessimistic? and many more.
Now, for relationships that could or would likely lead to marriage, you could be able to answer these questions: What is the person’s view of an ideal family? Do they agree with yours? What about morals? Is the person truthful and trustworthy? What do you know about the person’s family? Does any genetic (i.e hereditary) disease run in the family? and more.
To be candid, getting answers to these questions takes time but its worth it, as you are by then, laying a solid foundation for your relationship to avoid falling into its pit-hole.
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